دشت

She is very confident about her feelings. She trusts her feelings like anything, walks along with them and acts accordingly.
Now I'm not like that at all. I doubt my feelings all the time. I know I judge people with my conception about humanity, and since I have seen us failing to be what we want to be and do all the time, I know people are not greatest of their kind so generally, I like people.. They are good. I love them. They have their own way of looking at things. I have my own.
I can say I have a disgustingly strong will to learn about people, to love them, eventhough on rare occasions, I was quite good at saying whatever to them and flush.

I can be best friends with people who are least related to me, I can find support and encouragement from people who doesnt necessarily understand my aim, I can fall in love because I feel it, I can stay in love because I want it and I might not think about where these go at all cause I dont know where any of them goes. But then look, this life is great. We are all evolving and revolving and growing into greatest of our own. We dont get stuck at a point. This is freedom. This is knowing you can grab your bag and fly away to another world and other people if you stopped moving. This is knowing you can stay in the very same place and still cut out from your old life, and move in other directions.
Now I know you can think of me as a great friend, cause I lend my ears to you and I understand what you said, not because Im such an understanding person, but because I can relate to what you say and I feel the same, and you keep refering to me as a wise friend with greatest advices.
You also can think Im quite smart, and that Im very quick in answering questions, not because my IQ goes above the average, but simply because I have shown interest in the topic earlier in life and have thought about it and have reached certain answers to my own questions. Now yours are very much related, so I can speak. and Golly, look what a sharp girl I am to you.
You can love me from the depth of your heart, and find me an amazing person with a shiny personality, think of me as an enabled person cause you have seen all my golden days, and you can find me romantic cause my statements matched your expectations, and you can trust me, cause what if you dont, then all of what you have fighted for would be gone in a day, and who wants that anyway; You can find that I'm not trustable but eventually trust me again cause look man, its just so bad to feel insecure all the time, and it doesnt work, and you love me, and that means you can trust me, and you know you could have acted wrongly just like I did at times if you were in my position, and bottom line, you love me. You want to love me. Im good enough. I make you happy enough. You are not looking for a princess and having me makes you relieved from your eternal search for that one soulmate. I could be your soulmate. Its been so long you see, dont bother doubting me.

I can be you too. and Im now unhappy, cause I'm free to fly.

we people are amazing in finding excuses or rejecting them, and never ever get to know ourselves, that its not about that at all. Its about our will, and we can be as blind as we want to be to any reasoning or excuse cause we want this. cause this happiness is good enough. The light days outweigh the dark ones. We want this, no more debate, we know it sucks, we accept its rotten at parts, we know its a lie at certain points but it has its whole other aspects that appeals to us. Why is it so difficult to say what we want and take responsibility for it and live a caucious life, haa? or wait, how do we spell that word again?

Life is cool in many certain manners and I personally think it rocks now.
I persist and persist: You keep your individuality..
Life isnt about changes; Change is like resigning out of your job and looking for the same job in another company. That is change. Life perhaps is about development. You will ascend, and move forward and not come back to the same point cause you grew. Change will give you a different undersatnding of the same topic, maybe yes, maybe no, but growth will expose you to more and more of reality and thats how you learn, how you live, how you get to be born at each instant.


I understand that I absolutely suck at cooking, but I still say I could have done it well if only I had a bit more interest in it. I think men are better cook, and move on.